October 12, 2007

A Short Study of a Tired, Uncaffinated Mind
life, poetry

I see the color but it does not touch me,
I feel the light but it is not warm.
All around me life swirls on
then with one look at me it's gone.

I have slept for many hours,
but they were not enough.
Now I live with grey-tinted glasses
separating me from the happy masses.

The music's notes sooth my senses,
I talk with my undemanding friends.
So I glimpse the balanced happiness,
but soon once more my mind will bend.

In this same life I could be all content,
I would talk and smile and stand up straight.
If only, for a time, my eyes were dusted with sand,
if only I were transported to a dream-filled land.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 1:03 PM | Comments (0)

October 8, 2007

To Trust My Heart
life, poetry

thinking back upon our time,
the future we lack no longer saddens me so.
instead I just hope to never forget your face
or the way we would feel when we used to embrace.

even as we both find new ways to go,
I hope to never forget the beauty I have been shown.
I wonder how I will find such happiness again,
but in the end such wonderings yield no gain;
I can only trust my heart and the gods above
that I will once more feel two hearts meld in love.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 5:33 PM | Comments (0)

September 26, 2007

Beautiful Nature's Storm
life, poetry

a great turbulence rocks the ship;
passengers are tossed to their doom.
confusion rules as darkness takes grip,
and in the skies heavy rain clouds bloom.

as the tears struck down, I tried to understand
how such happiness could reign and then turn to sand.
I held out my hand to feel the drops' weight,
I thought and I thought until I saw through the spate.

the captain's voice on the bullhorn
slices through the stormy confusion:
the storm had been beautiful nature's necessary conclusion.
for those who are now gone the passengers mourn.

and so things seemed clear; I had come to some peace.
my heart was no longer desired, it was living without a lease.
these simple words seemed to cut through the mire;
and so I ached for what was gone but began to move on.

and once more life seemed a fountain of joy.
and once more the passengers found that the ship was heaven-bound.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 12:43 PM | Comments (0)

April 29, 2007

A New Meeting
life, poetry

I had seen her face's features.
Now I see her face's whole;
her beauty lifts my soul.

I had seen pictures of her.
Now when I look at pictures thereof,
I see with her the spirit of love.

I had thought her to be many people.
Now I see she is only one.
Awe fills me; the love has begun.

And thus happiness fills my veins,
and thus I give her all I have to give,
and thus I love every moment I live.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 2:50 AM | Comments (0)

April 24, 2007

The Secret Beauty of the Moment
life, poetry

If you would but pay attention
   you would fall in love.
If the sole location of your mind
   was the moment and the present
   you would fall in love.
If you took naught for granted,
   but observed every wonder,
   the beauty would overwhelm you.
Live in the moment,
feel in the moment,
but most of all, love in the moment.
      For only the moment matters
      when you are with her.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 2:44 AM | Comments (0)

April 22, 2007

Logic's Blindness
life, poetry

Just a moment dear; let me find my heart.
It seems I lost it as I traveled in the dark.

Emotion seems so far off,
despite how much I beckon.
Memories confuse what I think I feel;
the fake tries to pass for what is real.
So I recede from my mind —
as to the truth logic is blind.
With your warm thoughts I will see anew.
With this simple beauty I will find the true.

In the hollow space that used to feel warm;
that is where I will rebuild what is forlorn.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 2:39 AM | Comments (0)

April 19, 2007

Three Fragments: a tale of wonder
life, poetry

put me at ease, destroy my defenses, let me
breathe the emotion.
then I am so happy.


presently the diamond tears shroud my face;
sandman, prithee, shine thy blessing light upon
this seed of happiness.


I find myself in an uncharted sea;
it's beauty stretches farther than the eye can see.
Yet I need no map, I need no dove,
for I am not alone upon the sea of love.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 2:34 AM | Comments (0)

October 14, 2006

The Future and the Past
'philosophy', life

So I'm home from college for the weekend, trying to think of something relatively productive to do before I crash in bed for the night... And I realize I have the inspiration for a blog entry. For the first time in weeks, if not months. I finally have a large block of time during which my thoughts are free to roam the world over.

The first thought which wakes up my mind is a longing for my dorm room; sure, it's nice to be β€œhome” and everything, but I miss having my computer right next to my bed right next to my bathroom right next to my kitchen right next to my study area right next to a boatload of my lovely friends. There's a certain economy that this arrangement requires which in turn makes it easier to focus on economizing your time in this world, as opposed to the environment which the heavily memory-laden β€œhome” forces on you.

It's not that these memories are sad. They're happy memories, memories of opening boxes of Legos for Christmas and playing with them with my Dad, memories of long, wonderful summer nights spent doing nothing but coding, gaming, and living in the world of the Internet, memories of getting home late after a night of socialization at a friend's house... And yet, each of these memories evokes a deep sadness.

All these memories are decidedly from the past; more so than the memories I have of hanging out with people at William and Mary just last week, these memories' time has come and gone. Especially those which are further in the past. Never again will I get to open Legos with my parents, never again will I spend late nights in a world where nothing at all matters except the next line of code, the next instant message, and the next level in Diablo II. And, while I wouldn't really want to return to any of these worlds, at least not for too long, I mourn the fact that they are utterly lost to me.

My dorm room shows me the possibilities of the now and of the future; the people I can walk out my door and make friends with, the careers I can prepare for and jump into. But my house, my house reminds me of the past and the possibilities which are now closed off to me. And I know that if I forget these things, I will lose a large part of myself. Yet they are so difficult to hold on to; they reside only in memory, and with each day they grow fainter. But I must never forget what has passed, and most of all, I must never forget how wonderful the people with whom I share these memories really are, despite any flaws they may harbor.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 12:35 AM | Comments (1)

February 1, 2006

Three Haiku: a story
life, poetry

kindling lies on ground.
the bright sun shines briefly:
burning fire erupts.

emotions gather inside;
unshared they serve no purpose.
a flood is released.

a blessing breeze blows.
life's joyful fires are stoked anew;
spring tickles the heart.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:44 PM | Comments (0)

December 19, 2005

I have a secret; it flows in my veins
life, poetry

I have a secret.
it flows in my veins.
it burns in my soul.

if you listen to my heart,
I'll share with you this thing.
this strange creature, this secret.

music swirls about the secret's crystal throne;
the sound's currents illuminate the shimmering thing.
as life's light sneaks through the door, the secret flies free.

it dances through the halls and it cartwheels through my mind.
free, it shines like a star, a constant explosion letting off light and heat.
listen close and you'll hear it's call; close your eyes and into it you will fall.

I'll whisper it's name: love.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:24 PM | Comments (0)

December 15, 2005

do all feel this way?
life, poetry

do all feel this way
when their heart
is swallowed
by another?

do all hope and pray
that their helpless ways
will bring two hearts

do all try to fare the torrid weather
and strive to swim to the gleaming
shores glimpsed while dreaming?

why does the heart wrench itself free
and let the pain seep in through my knees?
why does hope flail it's weakening arms
and grasp at hints only to fall back in alarm?
why can't the heart be satisfied with it's lot
and not long for that which is not easily sought?

Posted by Trevor Savage at 6:44 PM | Comments (0)

December 11, 2005

I Have a Fire
life, poetry

I have a fire,
it burns and it cools.
I know not whether to smother it
or to try to give it fuel.
it burns with desire.

fire is essential;
without it all seems trivial.
it's warmth fills your soaring soul.
and, yet, is it wise
to let undesired fires burn unsupervised?

all I know is this hell:
if I do not act
the fire will rage and scorch
all in it's track,
leaving me only a shell.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 2:48 PM | Comments (0)

November 20, 2005

Let Me
life, poetry

let me meld my mind with yours
and we'll be happy for evermore

let me sing a song from the heart
and all around us the night will part

let me see your soul's glittering form
and you will see my heart grow warm

if I open my heart to you
all will be of a glittering hue.
and if we open our hearts to one another
never will our happiness be torn asunder.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:36 PM | Comments (0)

November 15, 2005

Sloth Slinks
life, poetry

sloth slinks along the southern shore
it thinks I am unaware but I know it's snare
even so I am helpless before it's barred door
in my weakness I do not dare to assail it's lair

the sloth slips over me as I descend to my chair
I am unable to move and at first I don't care
but before long I wish to accomplish my goals
I am unable, restrained in laze's iron control

panic builds up as I think of what must be done
I am unable to stop the flow; all I can do is lie low
work flees from my mind as if pursued by a hun
the waves crash against me and above flies a crow

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:23 PM | Comments (0)

November 7, 2005

Sleep's Plague
life, poetry


Damn this lack of sleep
and the forgetful thoughts which I keep

Nothing is really wrong
but my mind finds sadness in it's song

I curse it's wavering ways
and long for the chance to sleep for days


sleep knocks at my door with it's iron cushion of a fist
my mind hears the call but my soul resists
the body slogs along towards it's slumber
but the heart wishes to halt the falling lumber

sleeps knocks again with it's iron knuckles
a few times more and my will will buckle
but for the moment I hold my tongue
my happy mind frolics with the sun

thrice sleep knocks and I know my time is nigh
sleep's soft pillows will soon know my sigh
as my mind's pace starts to slow
dream's soft music begins to flow

all my thoughts drain out through my feet
things become simpler and oh so sweet

Posted by Trevor Savage at 7:37 PM | Comments (0)

October 26, 2005


I feel like I have nothing to write about, but of course there's plenty that I can relate. Life's been going along solidly, with almost nary a bump. Now that I'm a senior and that I've sent my main college application off, I feel like I have naught a care in the world; practically all the stresses are gone. All that remains to claim my attention are my hobbies and my friends, things which I'm happy to give attention to.

My senior year is by far the easiest I've had at school; there isn't as much homework, and the classes are much more fun. Calculus is pretty cool, and Physics is downright awesome! I love working magic on the numbers and the little miniature worlds and figuring up what the results will be. French is pretty easy, although it may get a bit harder in the future, and the rest of the classes are also going quite smoothly.

The large senior research project does hold a bit of stress, but I still have plenty of time to work on it; the first draft for the word processing portion isn't due until December 7th. I suppose I should make sure not to lose track of this deadline, but even so my main challenge will probably be getting enough sources, particularly book ones. There aren't many books about PDAs.

The upcoming regatta is also making me a bit nervous, but I'm sure we'll survive. I just need to keep a good attitude about it. Even though our four doesn't usually feel terribly stable, and I don't feel terribly well conditioned, I do fine on the erg pieces and hopefully the next two practices will help the boat set up properly. I still don't know for sure if I'll actually be in the boat, but it seems likely since I've been rowing with it.

Now I just need to buckle down on my ukin' and writing, and make sure to live hard with my friends! My ukulele practices have become lamentably infrequent and this blog could obviously use with quite a bit of fattening. After crew ends this monday, though, it should be easy to bring my hobbies back up to speed.

Love your friends and enjoy your life!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:19 PM | Comments (0)

October 10, 2005

Colleges, Writing, and Loneliness (like I can bloody complain)

I feel like I'm starting to get a handle on my William & Mary application. The application itself is mostly done but for a bit of work on the activities section (it's rather vague in what should be included), my essay seems good enough, and although I've yet to start my rιsumι it should be easy and objective. My mom made a bunch of suggestions for my essay but I really didn't like that process; she was pretty much arguing for some ethereal "well reading" quality over the actual meaning of the essay.

Myself, I feel pretty anesthetized to the smoothness of a piece or writing; the better something is written the better it flows, but other than obvious things like incorrect or awkward usage of structure I don't notice writing "not flowing well". To me, getting the actual meaning of the essay across is far more important, and should always be the priority when choosing between two possible phrasings. My mom fought tooth and nail for good flow though, which quite unsettled me; I don't think I'll consult her much about my essay again.

It's strange how much easier I find writing for my blog than writing my college essay. Other than the essay's word limit they're both really the same; in both instances I write mainly about me. Part of what makes the essay harder is the pressure which is on it; it, more or less alone, has to woo the admissions officers. More so, though, the different editing process seems to get in the way. When I write for my blog I merely write what I want to say, reviewing it to make sure there're no mistakes and that the sentences came out how I wanted them to. It's largely an unconscious process; the writing and corrections just flow out. With the essay, however, I have a handful of other people offering corrections as well. I find these difficult to consider because I'm unable to assimilate them into my emotional writing flow.

In short, I'm not used to concentrating on form. My writing concentrates on function, with the assumption that with practice form will follow. While I will obvious correct any errors in form which I notice, my mind isn't really tuned to this wavelength. My writing's purpose is to convey a point, not to look pretty and flow like silk. Without meaning, appearance is useless.

Other than the college process things seem to be flowing well enough; there aren't any other turbulence in my portion of the sea, although things are a bit calm for my tastes. We really need more to do on the Eastern Shore; you can usually scare up one activity per weekend, whether it be yard sales, movies, eating out, a music fest, or some fusion of the above, but so far it's been quite rare to see several activities in one weekend.

This has really plagued me this last 3 day weekend; I've severed my connection to gaming, more or less, to make way for the far-superior socialization, but this has the downside of leaving me dependent on people who aren't always around as much as I might like. I wouldn't change this for the world but it still gets a bit lonely some weekends.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:23 PM | Comments (1)

September 25, 2005


Today I participated in a name meaning meme that passed by my part of MySpace. The meaning which the website gave me said, among other things, "You believe in putting one hundred per cent into all your activities of which there are many. " The second portion of this seems exceedingly true; I frequently feel that I have too many activities. From knitting to reading to uking to programming to writing poetry to blogging to crewing to gaming, I often have trouble using my time to the fullest and maintaining all of my hobbies.

My musical activities have especially suffered; I have trouble getting enough time to regularly practice on my ukulele, which is unfortunate. And when I don't play it, I forget how fun it is to play it, making me less likely to start practicing again. And beyond practicing, there are many things which I need to learn; I have a nice chords book I need to study, and I also need to get a good music theory book to pour over.

Many of my other hobbies aren't so important or necessary, and can survive a dry period. I've neglected my copy of the second volume of The Sandman, and I need to read more on Le Comte de Monte-Cristo, but those I can pick up any time. Likewise, my knitting is easy to stop and resume; other than a few pieces of terminology and such, there isn't much to relearn. In more skill-based areas like writing though, missing a few months of practice can cause your ability to dull, and it certainly won't help the ever-necessary sharpening. To become better at something, you must practice. But practice becomes difficult when you have so many things to practice.

For the moment I've pretty much dropped programming altogether. I still quite enjoy it, but now that I've gained a social life, not to mention a number of other recently-acquired hobbies, there's less time for it. I'm not too worried about it though; I doubt I'll forget much, and when it comes to learning there's always college. There aren't too many other hobbies which I can forget about though; I still want to knit, I definitely still want to play my ukulele, and movies and books are too delightful to forget about.

The solution would seem to be to cut out the meaningless fat which wastes time without much gain; namely, to cut down on the less-informative web surfing. The internet certainly can't be cut out altogether, as there's far too much to learn from it. But I think from now on I'll be making more of an effort to ensure that my time online is well-spent; the next time I'm just looking for something to do I'll make sure to whip out my ukulele and strum some chords instead.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:17 PM | Comments (0)

September 23, 2005

As night's silky sheet falls upon the land
life, poetry

As night's silky sheet falls upon the land
waves of sound echo through the world.
Friends' songs of happiness flow from hand to hand
and musical strains of pure emotion are hurled.

All that is good is let loose to roam
as all the evil is driven back home.
The heart is free from ache;
all drink in the musical sake.

Naught is left but happiness.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:47 PM | Comments (1)

September 6, 2005

Disconnected from the Mainstream: Seniorship and Patriotism

Woo! And thus the first day of school is over. I think it's slowly starting to hit me that I am a senior, although I'm always a bit out of touch with that kind of thing. After all, It doesn't really feel any different... Sure, we have an air conditioned lounge and it's fun to flout such power, but we aren't really that much more special than the other grades.

The teachers and administration claim that we have some great power of "leadership" that we must now exercise. I'll certainly agree that we have some such power, but they overblow it; we don't magically have this power because we're seniors, we have it because of our positions near the top of the social totem pole. And this power doesn't automatically work on everyone at the school; it only works on people who are climbing the same social totem pole and who have respect for us.

I suppose I'm just a bit disconnected from the situation because I've never wanted to impress any of the past seniors in a bid to increase my standing. I can certainly imagine some of the current underclassmen changing their dress or actions to try to fit in better with the "popular" group, however; and thus I suppose that those on the totem pole usually deemed "popular" do indeed have a rather mighty ability to lead their younger schoolmates.

Speaking of feeling disconnected, I don't really sympathize with the notion of patriotism which runs throughout America's veneer. Our new Government book at school speaks of patriotism in flowery terms, claiming that it's a quality which good citizens posses. Personally, however, I feel great loyalty and love for the principals on which the founding fathers based the country, not for the country itself.

The country is but a fallible beast, capable of being deceived and of deceiving. The principals on which it was based, however, are immortal and infallible; although a mortal rendering of them may fall or become tarnished, they will always remain to guide the next generation closer to their ideal.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 6:22 PM | Comments (0)

September 4, 2005

School Marches Closer

School's marching ever closer, and it's getting for too close for my well being if you ask me. And yet, there are reasons for which I am eager for it's return.

Perhaps the foremost thought on my mind, however, is about colleges. For, being a senior, in a few months I'll have to have my applications in the mail. At first my sole thought was that the information to be considered was completely overwhelming, and that comparison was impossible. Comparing individual aspects and student reviews, however, has proved informative and now I'm on slightly firmer ground. I still tend to waffle though, and I need to do more research in the next few days.

The senior project is another potentially stressful event, but I'm not worried about it. Every senior has to complete a series of computer-based documents (a Powerpoint, database, spreadsheet, etc) on a subject of their choosing. I already have an interesting subject (PDAs), however, so as long as I find plenty of information online I should be set.

The school year's classes themselves are also in a position to provide stress. However, looking over my schedule, there seem to be far too many interesting or semi-fun classes to worry about schoolwork. Even the classes which are less attractive are so mostly because they'll probably involve a bit more work than the rest. And how can you complain about classes when you have a study hall and access to a senior lounge?

But lying beneath all these dooms and glooms, like a nice fluffy pink carpet, are socialization and friends. Lying on this carpet, watching the sky, and feeling the waves of life go by; for this I am happy that school will soon begin.

And there is another benefit as well; with more varied inputs and experiences being pumped into my head I will not find it so difficult to conjure up a topic on which to blog or write poetry about. My mind will cease to stagnate in the ever-changing but calm waters of it's own summoning and will instead be tossed about on the rapids of others' thoughts.

And so, even if all of the potential deaths mentioned above come to pass, in the end I think I'll be happy once school has commenced anew. Friends and an increased flow of thoughts through my mind will cary me through to the end.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:00 PM | Comments (0)

August 21, 2005

Lost I Have Been

Fresh out of the delectable Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, as I ponder life, colleges, and the multitude of options thereof, and as the words of poetry which had formed in my mind just so few minutes before while driving home fail me, I bap myself and realize that now is the time for a blog entry. An entry for the poor, neglected blog which so aptly and sadly reflects my neglection of social interaction.

For indeed I have been lost in the seas of Diablo II, and lo, although it has been a most enjoyable float aboard the raft of isolation, the raft yet becomes thin and brittle. Amid the sea of entertainment it's insubstantial nature is revealed by the waves of time. And although I would indeed welcome and enjoy an extension of my stay upon these waters, I find myself without a ship in the middle of the ocean and I have no recourse but to learn once more how to swim that I might return to shore and purchase the timbers of life anew.

The currents of laziness, masquerading as those of life, ever try to stem my path to the shore, hoping to keep me away from the solid reality and meaning present in interaction with great people. The shore's solid foundations I seek, and yet at times the sickly sweet fumes of laze threaten to overwhelm me. But the foul candle from which these fumes emanate must be cast aside, for their insubstantial nature holds no promise for the living.

The seas of entertainment themselves are not tainted, however their sweets stick to the mind and must eventually be cleansed by life's scrubbing; everything must be sampled, but only in proper moderation may everything be enjoyed.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:48 PM | Comments (0)

August 15, 2005

NASA Poetry: Ode to the House of Apache and other tales
life, poetry

Recently my internship at NASA ended, so here's a selection of poetry which I wrote while on the job. Hopefully it might illuminate some of my experiences. I'll write a blog entry on said experiences in a few days.

so many words;
they long to come out.

but the time of day is not right
and sleep's fog dulls their light.

July 15
sleep beckons,
and who am I to deny it?

only a bit of flotsam,
tossed about before it's dreamy shores.

August 1
desire for an iPod warps the mind
        as all the players wait with hope.
the winners of the prize know not their find
        but instead they are nervous and mope.
all await the words so combined
        as to bring either death or a rescuing rope.

August 3
Ode to the House of Apache
The softly resounding GUI comforts like the crash of the ocean's waves
as the quiet mechanical sounds of the PHP hint at the underlying framework.
Data retrieved from MySQL tastes like a delicious fruit picked ripe from the tree
as the comforting embrace of PHPWS encircles all, bringing necessities to hand.
For indeed I speak of a paradise of bytes and bits; a utopia crafted of ones and zeros
where all may live out their lives surrounded by beautiful silicon in the house of Apache.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 2:39 PM | Comments (0)

July 24, 2005

How can I reach infinity
life, poetry

How can I reach infinity
when the sands of time limit me?
I know where I must go,
yet I find it hard to row against the flow.
Pastel shades light the sky;
they form a colorful path leading high.
And yet still I find that my mind denies;
it refuses me the power to fly above the body's lies.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:29 PM | Comments (2)

July 20, 2005

geekage, life, thing

Podcasts are quite interesting. They seem the ideal way to spend the trip to and from work, and a deliciously stable way to obtain such obscure (according to the local radio) genres of music as electronic and trance. Their large size is both a blessing and a curse to the 56ker. Without the necessity of streaming, it's possibly with a little patience to grab a podcast or a few and listen to them, while on the other hand any stream above a certain bitrate becomes practically unusable.

iTunes, although it provides a very nice interface, fails in delivering podcasts to 56kers. The downloads are unresumable, limiting your selection to that which you can download in one session, and to make matters worse the downloads have a tendency to time out after about 25% of the file has arrived. I just switched over to downloading the same podcasts with wget and it's worked great, not timing out once. I'll check iPodder out when I have the time to download it, and if it has any support for resuming downloads I imagine I'll become a quick devotee.

I've seen some complain that "Podcast" is just a new name for audio broadcasting over the web. It is, however, different, thanks to the new listening procedure. In addition to the automation that can make it convenient and the portability which can also be handy, podcasts bring to the table the ability to aggregate as many broadcasts as you want. Much as RSS itself makes it possible to keep track of many more news sites and blogs than could be easily done with mere webpages, podcasts make it easy to listen to as many broadcasts as you have the time to hear. In addition, thanks to the easy-to-use software which makes podcasts so nifty, more broadcasts are created than would be without this easy way to reach listeners. Sure, many of these broadcasts may be trash, but logic says that some percent of them will good listening.

Listening to my mp3 player on the commute, however, has one definite downside: it means that I don't get a daily dose of NPR, leaving me rather out of the loop as far as news goes.

And so I'm bearing through 1 hour and 20 minute downloads and eagerly awaiting the morrow, when I might try out some podcasts on my drive north. We can discuss the safety of listening to so called trance music while driving on the highway later.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:51 PM | Comments (0)

July 17, 2005

The Fully Fledged Life: Musings on the Weekend's Gathering

Fully fledged real life socialization having been reborn after long absence, I am refreshed. And yet I am also ever the more aware of it's usual absence. The Beatles and AIM call, and I vow to answer their sirens in the following weeks. I must not die this death again.

Loosening society's restraining orders and letting my wings out once more, I feel the wind blow through them and know it to be good. The joys of good people and interaction with them delight me to no end.

I think I've noticed an interesting fact about myself after this weekend's 8 hour long social extravaganza, however. I think I'm rather (happily) out of touch with social undercurrents; I don't or can't divine people's reasons for interacting with X social group or acting like Y towards certain people. Instead, I find that happiness is easier to seek if one ignores such things, looking either deeper or shallower (depending on how one thinks about the matter) and enjoying the people themselves, whatever motives they may hold and whatever complaints they appear to constantly blather. Such things seem of little import, and it seems of little use to become annoyed over them.

And yet there are things that people can do which annoy me; I suppose these things center mainly around people who purposefully (consciously or not) harm others' happiness. People who think they know much more than they do, or who intentionally cause lasting hurt or unhappiness to others for selfish reasons seem predisposed to cause this annoyance in me.

On the other hand, I don't mind if friends are critical of those whose motives they deem unappealing, or of those who seem to spout unhappy thoughts. Whatever they find to make the world a happier place for them I have no quarry with.

In then end, it boils down to this: I lurv the awesome people I hang with, and wouldn't wish ill on any of them for the world. Whatever (reasonable things) they do in the pursuit of happiness, I can only applaud.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:56 PM | Comments (0)

July 3, 2005

Media Weekend: Carmageddon and Cyberpunk
geekage, life

My mind tells me it's well past time for another blog entry. An outpouring of information is needed, for the well balanced sanity of my essence. And so I finish up my game of Carmageddon II and happily head for the text editor.

Having discovered OpenGLide, I recently dug up my copy of Carmageddon II to rediscover that it is quite the nifty game. It runs relatively well in classic using OpenGLide, the only problem I've encountered being that the blasted music doesn't want to play, although iTunes can remedy that rather easily. Although I can't find anyone else reporting this problem, I can only assume that it's something simple like OSX hiding the Audio CD portion of the game's disc from Classic somehow. Other than this, though, it's quite the enjoyable game.

It's interesting, however, how quickly it's community has declined. Having been released in 1999, just a year before my G4 came off of the presses, a vast majority of the fan sites centered around it have already either dissapeared outright or sunken into stagnation. And the official website appears to have followed the fansites into the darkness. It's quite strange to compare this to the ongoing popularity of Diablo II or even Starcraft, which, despite it's 7 years of age, still holds gamers in it's delightful claws and is even favored by the great gods with updates.

The stagnation of Carmageddon 2's internet appearance makes it seem markedly older than other games, making it age before it's time while the more favored of it's kin enjoy their player-granted extended youth.

Recently I've been on something of a William Gibson kick, although more by happenstance than any logical decision. He's quite the master storyteller, and I've extremely enjoyed most of his books, although his evidentally more mainstream novel "Pattern Recognization" seems a bit less coherent than the rest of his books. For one, it's a bit trendy; all of the computers in the book are Macs, and although I love Apple, it's a bit strange that everyone is so obviously using Macintosh computers. The main character is also a disciple of Pilates, a fact which seems to have little importance as anything other than a novelty, despite being repeatedly brought up. In general, the story as a whole dosen't seem to fit together quite as well as his others do, looking more like a collection of somewhat interesting aspects taped onto a rather sturdy storyline than his usual streamlined works.

Perhaps part of the reason for this is that, unlike most of his work, "Pattern Recognition" is set more or less in the present. At any rate, it doesn't hold together for me nearly as well as I expect his stories to, and although it did certainly hold my attention to the end, the world which was barely departed from our own somehow seemed less real than those which Gibson usually paints. Perhaps this is more of a flaw – if it can be called that – in my own mind than in the novel, however.

Anyway, it's back to the media pump for me; perhaps a spot of music and a tasting of WarCraft III. The lack of uncanned emotion tugs a bit at my soul, despite my attempts to drown it in media and hope.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 5:54 PM | Comments (0)

June 28, 2005

On the Job
geekage, life

Programming at a regular, firmly scheduled job is quite strange. For the first time ever, It becomes clear how much time each and every little computery task actually takes, as the daily schedule of start work, eat lunch, and stop work punctuates the programming. Projects and individual tasks which I'd before have said would be quick to complete drag out, taking up what, in the context of the not-so-comfortable office as opposed to that of the easy chair, turn out to be long hours, not to short ones which fly out the window while one's too distracted to notice one's hunger.

Doing a website (or starting to do so) for community service also had this effect; faced with the requirement of logging my hours so that I could get credit for them, the quick tasks which I completed on the website started to fill up the requirement remarkably quickly (although I eventually ended up doing data entry at Habitat for Humanity instead)

Inhabiting a real life workplace also has a few advantages though. Social interaction, as grand as it can be online, seems more fulfilling in person, and the chance to interact with interesting but previously unknown people is greater in real life. Today there was a general summer student meeting which I quite enjoyed, as about half of it was given to socialization, pleasing my starving mind greatly. Unfortunately, my mind is still too lazy to reach out for food through the internet or other lines of communication, but talking with other sharpies helped to ease it's pain. In addition, the ice cream available in real life must be taken into account; most people don't have soft serve machines in their homes.

Writing's coming a bit stiffly today; the words aren't flowing out of my fingertips, but, rather, they're being whipped out by a brain demanding that laziness submit to the forces of happiness. Except said brain isn't as energetic as that sentence makes it out to be. This stiffness seems to derive from the fact that happiness itself is in something of a short supply here, and as such it's sheer mass alone isn't enough to drive out the words and make my fingers eager to type.

I'm not unhappy though. It's just that work (if I have the right to call it that) doesn't supply enough happiness on it's own to keep my engines in prime condition, and the aforementioned laziness is preventing me from seeking out supplements of the magically drug-like combination of music and socialization which I desire. That, and I don't get enough sleep during the week. At any rate, here I depart, leaving wishes that your sleep is undisturbed and full of delightfully interesting dream.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:52 PM | Comments (0)

June 25, 2005

Once More on the Path to Nirvana

Hello, oh great blog! It's been far too long since my last post, I know. And I have none to blame but myself. At first I had the excuse that not much was happening, and even if I had written about not much happening I'd have been largely repeating what I'd already said in previous entries. After a week or two, however, some small quantities of things did happen, and after another week, well... The only explanation I can offer up is that, if anyone can provide a guillotine, I'd be more than willing to conduct a public execution of my laziness. I'm sure I'd miss it, but despite all of it's good effects it can be rather painful when it prevents you from doing things you want to do.

But now, it's time to dance. Unfortunately, as far as I know, there isn't any opportunity to do this in real life, so I'll have to turn to the dance of words, and feed my excess energies after that to dancing in the privacy of my living room.

I'd hoped that my internship-thingie at NASA would put the pressure on me and make me dance a more productive dance, but, by no fault of it's own – I'm rather enjoying it – it hasn't. The main reason for this, I suppose, is that I only have 3 hours or so of time after work to do whatever I want to do, and, in this short time, I don't really get past the "relax and game" stage. It has, however, kept me from entirely wasting away through doing much of nothing, with the side effect of making me a bit pressed to do much of anything, outside of work hours. And the productivity that can be obtained while at NASA is, itself, satisfying, so perhaps it has indeed created a proper ratio of productivity and pleasure.

Now, though, during my glorious weekend, with Wurm flowing through my veins, music flowing through my head, and the dance driving itself out of my fingertips and through my keyboard, things feel quite fine. All I need to do now to regain my footing is to reopen channels of socialization and seek out such holy activities as might bring on nirvana; namely, dancing and, to a lesser degree, throwing frisbees. Mayst thou have luck in seeking out thine own nirvana!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 11:13 PM | Comments (0)

June 8, 2005

A Lazy Mind Seeks Happiness

I'm in a very strange mood, now that I'm lacking the structure and stimuli that school provided. My only desire seems to be for fantasy, either in the form of MMORPGs or dreams, and yet I long for the more human emotions and interactions that I desired and enjoyed during school.

In addition to turning to fantasy, my mind seems to have turned away from creativity; it desires to immerse itself in games and private dreams which are unable to express themselves to others, thusly eliminating any chance at productivity while pursuing fantasy.

The main reason for this odd turn of my mind seems to be that it's treating summer like a big, long weekend; during the weekend, all I usually do is relax and enjoy whatever happiness flies my way. As the days drag on, though, it seems that my mind, unaccustomed to such long weekends and lacking any stress which might force it to merely relax and socialize, demands that I seem out new avenues of happiness.

And thus, it seems that stress falls upon me from my lack of stress. Without the pressure of school to influence my mind, it can only find an outlet in the continual pursuit of baser happinesses. The obvious answer seems to be to find new stresses, while also adapting my mind to function better in the lack of it. Stress can be obtained in the form of such mind-exercising pursuits as writing and reading the news, while adaptation can be encouraged by forcing myself to be social, with music's influence surely helping along the way. Fantasy can be good, but when adored to the exclusion of all else it can be as unhealthy as any obsession.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 3:19 PM | Comments (0)

June 2, 2005

Emotion without Substance
life, poetry

a mind, knowing so much more than had before brushed it's door,
still longs for lore.
the mysteries of the world, distilled into but one word,
leave understanding furled.
the longing mind aches to unroll the exotic scroll, but it's clumsy claws
can not reach the goal.

feelings sought for as if lost,
longed for but never crossed.
for if they are found, they are not known,
and their identity lurks in the regions unshown.

but the mind does know that regardless of the world about,
and all that which it does desire to find out,
the top of the world has been scouted
and can be climbed again if it's location be doubted.

from the union of music and friends,
self-expression and happiness do themselves vend.
by the power of dance, all will mend,
and all will comprehend that which the mind wishes to pen.
[/NULL] My feelings recently, as reflected by a preponderance of poetry, have been mostly about emotions, not about things or events. This seems to follow the direction of the last week or so away from interactions and gatherings. Without crew, and with school drawing to a close, things are slowing down and my interaction is limited. My mind, recently awoken to interaction in the first place, cries out, and it is for this reason that I greet the beginning of summer with mixed feelings. It's nice, I suppose, to not have to worry about the studies any more, however I quite worry about how often I'll see the beloved crewbies. Yumilicious gatherings will surely supplant the biweekly or so crew practices, but I worry as to how frequent these gatherings will actually be. And, in addition, I worry about having an opportunity to dance. Dancing feels like the one way in which I can truly be Trevor, and express myself with wild abandon without caring about anything except the moment, the dancing, and friends. And yet, baring perhaps music-tinged gatherings, I know of no opportunity this summer at which I might dance. There's the possibility that someone on this seemingly dance forsaken peninsula will host a dance, but I don't like to bank my sanity on it, as I'm being forced to do. And even if such an event does come up, I might be hard pressed to find anyone to join me in venturing to such a locale where I'd be largely admist people who I don't know. And so I deal with the present, studying for exams, and look to the future, hoping that my schedule will be filled with friendly happiness and euphoria which resonates with the music. I feel feeble to affect this future, and yet if I do not, it will surely not live up to my desires, so I must try to affect it as I can.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:58 PM | Comments (0)

May 30, 2005

life, poetry

the path to perfection having been attained
one finds that reality had never therein lain

responsibility thwarts that which you wish not to depart
time in it's finite nature limits the pursuits of the heart

with the bulk of necessity blocking the ingress to ecstasy
the mind despairs and gropes for the entranceway

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:28 PM | Comments (0)

May 28, 2005

Time's A'marchin
life, log

Yesterday there was an interesting gathering which I attended. It was, in an occurrence beyond belief, held within the premises of the tiny little out of the way place which I tend to call home, and that quite delighted me. There were lots of flying objects there too, at least until the sun went down, and they reawoke in me my CTY-born love of frisbees. I now have an intense desire to chuck some disc in a nice grassy field, and I'm going to have to find a way to do so this summer, although it might be a bit difficult to find others who would be as excited to throw discs as I am. I also got a chance to dance a bit, which made me happy, especially since I got to show my dancing off to people not accustom to it.

Now, however, I'm in a weird mood. I'm not exactly longing for anything, and nor am I really lonely, but, nonetheless, the only thing that sounds like it'd be really fun right now is being with friends. This is probably just due to the impending exams tarnishing my recent (friend-centric) view however. One exam starts on Tuesday, with the rest kicking in on Thursday, and I have quite a bit of studying to do for them. So far I've done 1/2 of the stuff I have to do for Latin though, and that only took 2 hour or so, so it shouldn't be too hard to finish everything, especially with the super-delicious 3 day weekend. The only really big thing I have to do now is my French composition, but once I actually start writing that it should be a breeze.

In other news, I've been extremely hooked on Angband recently. It's an extremely fun game, and I'm doing better than I ever have before in it. There's not much that's better than chopping up orcs and their kin while hunting for the next best weapon. I'm also enjoying T.O.M.E., a variant of Angband, and THEME, a module for T.O.M.E. which adds some new classes and such. Currently I'm playing a half-troll warrior in vanilla Angband. He's level 18, and I just found the Phial (YAY!) on level 9 of the dungeon.

Well, I'm off now to watch me some Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Last weekend I watched the movie, and this weekend I get to watch the DVD of the TV series, YAY! Y'all enjoy yourselves.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 11:25 PM | Comments (0)

May 16, 2005

Brims, Sore Throats, and Rain
life, log

Soo, our last regatta was this weekend. I got to the beach house rather late, so the only fun I caught was the tail end of a family guy episode, but 'twas alright. We were the first race or so in the morning, and while the rowing wasn't precisely heaven, it felt better than it did at the last regatta. This weekend I finally noticed that all the races that felt really good, where I didn't really get killed by exhaustion but where I also felt that I'd rowed my best, were races in which I'd rowed in an eight. Racing in a four seems to be much more tiring and seems to require much more effort; hopefully next year I'll get to row in more eights than fours, although that seems unlikely unless we manage to snare some more guy-rowers.

In addition to rowing, I coxed a shell, and had a brimful of fun in the process. After a bit of difficulty getting lined up at the start, the race went quite well – I think it's the first race I really coxed, as when I'd coxed previously I hadn't done much encouraging of my crew. Saturday, though, I discovered the delights of yelling and trying to drive the shell forward with your voice. All three shells in the race were neck and neck for almost the entire time, and near the end we started to pull ahead. Unfortunately we faltered a bit, one of the other shells got a lead, and we pulled into a close 3rd. I was still rather proud of my shell though, and boy do I want to coxswain some more! If just for that, I'll definitely be doing crew next year.

While we were across the bay we headed over to Stark & Legum. I found a really awesome black Stetson rain hat (the gable) which I promptly fell in love with. It should look quite nice and perhaps Europeanish with my black pants and shoes and whatnot, and it makes me happy to have something of a collection of hats now.

Mayfair at school on Sunday wasn't too bad either – all I had to do was help set up some things in the beginning, help man the crew table, and then help tear things down when a rainstorm flashed down on us. They had some pretty yummy snow cones and fries for sale as well.

Now that crew's out, all I have to do in the afternoons is some kinda fun data entry for community service – it's nice to be able to do something kinda within my realm of specialty, even if it's a bit monotonous.

I need to work some more to fire up the furnaces of friendship though – with a number of people away to Fox Island (some nice pictures, but from a different school) for a few days, social opportunities don't jump on me anymore and I think my Sims-style social meter is sagging. Tomorrow however I'm bringing in my banjo ukulele, so we should be able to rustle up quite a bit of fun during lunch and activity.

Anyway, thanks for tolerating the flushing of my mind's accumulated worries and thoughts, if that's indeed what you've done. Future entries will be less splattered, but I needed a wide entry to allow my mind to focus, if that makes any sense. I'm off now to rustle up whatever fun I can find here, as I do seems to be stagnating a bit.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:33 PM | Comments (1)

May 10, 2005

Poetic Lifeblog II
life, poetry

Ah, poetry does rocketh. It really takes the edge off of your emotions, in addition to being pleasant to write and read. I'm a bit pressed for time tonight since I have to get up early tommorrow to register for Italia, so these poems which I wrote today will have to serve as my voice. I'm quite pleased with "Math" though, so I hope y'all will enjoy it.

Laziness calls
and Imagination beckons.
Visions of movies and books and dreams.
Before these math wavers and falls;
all which is not strong and sturdy
falls to it's knees and begs for relief.



Oh, great luring god,
I fan thy flame
bow to thy name
and hail the path you leave unprofaned.

Oh, deity of logic,
ruler of all that is right,
why must you put up a fight
when this disciple begs to learn in your light.

The light shrinks away,
withers and fades,
leaving but little knowledge laid.
The path is so weak it seems not by you made.

Oh, master of truth,
your works span to the gods' home;
thy strongest towers of metal and stone,
awe-inspiring, they strike one to the bone.

Thus, glorious judge most just,
I entreat thee, grant this plaintiff's plea
for knowledge and understanding of yea;
allow me to climb thy great tree!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:14 PM | Comments (0)

May 6, 2005

Experiences from the Abyss
life, log

sickness brings laziness
longings for warm tea and good music
and a desire to lie back in a comfy chair

as I recede into my mind
I must be moored to the present
stimuli halt my fall into the abyss
[/NULL] Well, I'm definitely sick, although to what degree is arguable. It varies quite rapidly; one second I'll feel fine, then sickness falls upon me and I just want to lie down. One advantage of sickness, however, is that it usually inspires some interesting poetry, as you can perhaps see to the right. Anyway, today was the A.P. U.S. History exam. It wasn't so bad, although I shouldn't talk about details I don't suppose. Most of the questions pleasantly surprised me though, and, although I have no idea how well I'll do, I made it through! None of the essays were unanswerable from my knowledge base. And tomorrow is the SAT! Fun! At least it doesn't have as many essays as the AP did, and the multiple choice questions I'm certain to do better on. Best of all, I can't really study for it! So tonight's pretty much dedicated to relaxation. There're evidentially plans to go to an awesome mexican restaurant after the SAT too, so I quite hope those pan out. The length of the test (4 hours or so) is rather intimidating, but I don't worry too much about it; there's nothing I can do about it (other, perhaps, than sneaking a hip-flask of tea onto the site so I don't fall asleep) and everyone else will have the same disadvantage. I'm happy though. I'll be in British mode tonight, more or less. I have a delightful dose of British comedy from Netflix, which I'm quite overdue for – I haven't seen a movie in a week or maybe even longer, and – goodness – it may even have been 3 weeks since I've watched any British comedy. Plus, I'll definitely have to brew up a nice cup of tea, and soon I'll direct iTunes over to the Beatles to get some goodness pumped into my brain. Of course, that doesn't mean too much; I'm also planing on making some Mexican-inspired spicy chicken noodle soup without chicken tonight, along with some of my modified Civil War era corn cakes which will be fried in olive oil. Anyway, I'm off to get to the aforementioned Beatles; may you have success in all your culinary adventures!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 6:39 PM | Comments (0)

May 4, 2005

Postprom Experiences
life, log

I've started to write 3 different blog entries on different topics, 2 of which I haven't finished, so I'll just pile them all into this entry.

I think I'm starting to get a bit sick; marathon weekends tend to do that to me. The weekend of Macbeth, when we had a regatta stuck into the schedule much as one was this weekend, I had about the same symptoms. This Sunday, at afterprom, my throat got sore, and it didn't improve over Monday and Tuesday. Today, my nose starts running and feeling a bit put upon by unidentified invaders. This afternoon, I start feeling a bit sick and a bit chilled, and spend 2 hours doing much of nothing; nominally, I was surfing, but I only got around to a few sites. I just hope I hang in through Saturday; Friday is the day of the A.P. U.S. History exam, and Saturday we have the SAT.

Anyway, the Prom was quite the delight, I suppose. I was high on dancing and a lack of sleep and tophats and tails the entire time, so I had quite a bit of fun. A bit of socially challenged wonkiness was there in various forms, but oh well. Afterprom was like a really weird version of hell; one where they make you play games and give you prizes, but also one where you're so sleepy you start hallucinating. The dancing made the whole night worth it though, even if I felt like I was going to throw up at one point due to having consuming more water than the average camel. It was amazing how much I sweated; despite my copious consumption, I barely had to go to the bathroom at all. Boy did I love me some tophat though!

I am a bit worried about my ears however; since I've started going to dances and the like, I think I've noticed some decline in their ability to sense, and now it seems that a dull pain inhabits them. I definitely want to find a pair of earplugs to keep on me. I'm not sure how damaging intermittent dances can be (although if they can be very much so, I'll definitely start wearing earplugs) but if I ever have the opportunity to dance more often, earplugs will become a necessity if I want to dance for much longer.

My only real gripe at the moment though is that socialization is ADDICTIVE! They should put a bloody surgeon general's warning on the package. And, at the moment, I'm a bit devoid of this miracle fruit. Online conversations don't really suffice any more; they usually don't have as many people contributing, and the lack of outside stimuli shared by the conversation's participants can make coming up with topics difficult.

In addition, school doesn't seem that great of a social local either. There isn't much free time in the schedule for one; lunch only grants 25 minuets, during which you also have to stuff your face to glean necessary nutrition. In addition, I don't have a much better time talking at school than I do online; for some reason, I can't really come up with too much to talk about. This probably isn't so much a problem with school, entirely, as with my mind, so I'll have to work on it myself.

The best chances for social interaction, though, are definitely off-campus activities; regattas, the ride to crew practice, and other gatherings can become facsimiles of mirthful nirvana. For the moment, though, most of the crewbs with whom I like to twist words are going to morning practices, while I go to practice in the afternoon. Thus, I'm feeling a bit low in my quota of laughter and happiness.

Anyway, I'm off for French and Math SAT (fun! no, really!) homework, as well as some AP studying. I'll have to make sure to fit in a nice cup of English tea too... Be happy y'all, and socialize yourself up some mutual fun!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:05 PM | Comments (0)

May 2, 2005

The Power of Poetry: Poetic Lifeblog I
life, poetry

I was feeling a bit burdened by various school based responsibilities today, but after writing out these few verses I felt rather normal again, my emotions having been let out. Poetry rocks, and I think I'll start featuring it on this blog more often. The —— separates the two poems. On a side note, shampoo foam is quite possibly the coolest thing on earth.

     too much goodness
     sucking up the time
     too much to do
     and not a spot of time
     mandatory meetings,
          merriments and masteries
     when not completed promptly,
          they pock the path with potholes


What is the heart's yearning
          that friendship leaves unfilled?
What is the desire
          that flounders as if lost?

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:39 PM | Comments (0)

April 26, 2005

An Ordinary Week, Topped with Spices
life, log

Finally had a nice row at crew; the water was rather calm, and I felt that I was recovering from the, uh, stagnation of the last few practices. We didn't work too hard either. In other news, my community service is finally falling into place very nicely; I have something lined up which involves typing (that is, data entry), so it should be neat.

Just got in a nice half hour or so of random fun fiddling with my banjo ukulele, at risk of blowing my ears out; that thing is loud! I'm having fun experimenting, but I want to learn about playing chords up (down? everyone seems to say up, even though that doesn't make sense...) the neck – I understand the concept, but I'm not really sure why one would want to do it in the first place – as well as how to play/pick melodies; I don't really understand what melodies even are (on an instrument) yet.

Other than all that, it's been a rather normal week so far. We're doing SAT review in math (which is rather fun) and english (which is rather boring). I'm kinda addicted to SAT math problems; they tend to require equal parts of problem solving and math skills, so they're rather fun. The english ones just slog along though. They're not very fun in the first place; while solving math problems is, generally, what math is all about, you don't read book for the purpose of answering foolish little questions! And, furthermore, the questions can be VERY picky; does ponderous have a good or bad connotation? In my mind, depending on the situation, it could be either. And yet some of the questions hinge on such feeble supports. English is inherently much more subjective and not so well suited to standardized testing, although the essay that they added is definitely a step in the right direction.

Tomorrow we start decorating for prom; I have no idea what to expect, but it should be an interesting diversion at any rate. And I'll jump on any chance to play with duct tape! I don't have much of an aversion to constructing things or doing light manual labor either, so it shouldn't be too bad. And now that our ranks include a few crewbies, I'm sure the labor shouldn't be too onerous whilst socialization lightens the pain. Anyway, I'm off to find some good music and indeed socialization. Have fun, and may your tongue be the harbinger of many great conversations!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:12 PM | Comments (0)

April 24, 2005

Selfreflection: Summer and School
'philosophy', life

In which Trevor ruminates in a potentially boring fashion on the present and the past which lead up to it.

I'm starting to look forward to prom, which is next weekend, primarily because it's a great social opportunity – for some reason I'm feeling a bit starved in that regard. I'm feeling a wee bit stifled by responsibilities, and just want an opportunity to be quintessentially Trevor for a while; which now, rather surprisingly, involves being with real life friends. In this pursuit, most responsibilities become both a blessing and a curse; although school and crew mean being with friends occasionally, they also mean doing work, more so at school than at crew.

Last year this time, computers were just about my only hobby. Since then many things have changed. I've finally become social and I've picked up a horseload of hobbies, so many that I have trouble juggling them all at times. Many of these changes can be tracked back to the summer preceding the school year, and enacted themselves throughout the first half of the year.

The first substantial event of the summer was Port Isobel (just found that awesome picture while googling; that's the building we stayed in); it instilled me with a love of oars which carried me full blast onto the crew team, which in turn helped miles with my sociableness.

Next to take to the plate was JHU CTY on Franklin & Marshall College's excellent campus. The course, Philosophy of the Mind, was great and infinitely mind bending, and, although after the first day I was a bit beaten back by the scores of people who already knew each other, I eventually settled in with a nice group of people and began to, perhaps, become a bit more social. At CTY I also was introduced to dancing (without which I probably wouldn't have been driven to poetry), as well as They Might Be Giants.

Finally, over the summer I generally became more defined, thanks to the internet. A forum post prompted me to think about and define my philosophy, and further thinking lead me to change my mindset about being social. Last year, my goals on this front were meager; I hoped to make people laugh occasionally, and other than that I didn't care what anyone at all thought of me. The height of my happiness in this realm came only occasionally when jokes were flying in the classroom or, much more delightfully, during field trips.

The rest of this last year's changes can be more or less directly attributed to crew. The crewbie scarf knitathon, the results of which were sold to raise funds for crew, got me into the field of knitting – without which I wouldn't have started reading the blogs which made me decide to get create this website, which lead me to discover that I do fairly love writing. The proliferation of crewbies with instruments, as well as my own desire for music, drove me to the banjo ukulele. And, last but not least by far, crew lead me to meet the niftiest people in the entire school, people with whom I finally had something to talk about.

In sum, I'm delighted at all the changes that've occurred in the last year, although after tallying them all up I do find them responsible for my current blessed plight: if not for these changes, I wouldn't be longing for the socialization & sociability which have been compressed by responsibility. But it's pointless to complain; I'm off to work on both the responsibility and the sociability, that they might both be improved!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:50 PM | Comments (0)

April 18, 2005

Roaring into the Week with a few Deadweights
life, log

I just got back from a nice long row at crew – during half of it I rowed and during the other half I coxed. The rowing was nice to get back into the week with, although it left my hands a bit roughed up, and the coxing was fun too, except for docking and a few times when my fluid dynamics model in my head reversed. I haven't ever really docked on my own, and I'm kinda nervous about it, although I suppose it shouldn't be much different from the rest; just use the oars to turn and pull the boat in, one way or another. Most of the time there's a coach on the dock at that point though, so I tend to get nervous over whether I should try to bring it in or if I should just let the coach call it.

Anyway, crew set me into a nice, happy mood, despite a few things which're worrying me and which I'm doing my best to forget about. The first's just a take home history test, which isn't too hard, I just have to buckle down and think about it. I'll have to make sure to do that tonight, so I can put my mind to rest... The other thing is community service; It was nicely lined up to all be finished one day at a regatta, but wind canceled it... Now I'm rather lost as to what to do; the only time I have free from here on out is Sundays, really. And the library isn't open on Sundays. Conceivably, I could skip out on a regatta, but I really don't want to do that, especially since we only have a few left. Thankfully, this is the last time I'm forced to do community service.

We really should have a debate team or somesuch at our school, even if all I really want to do is rip through those who don't think some people deserve equal rights. And, if we did have a debate team, I'd rather join it next year than this, when a few certain people with rather excessively fiery opinions won't be here anymore (although that'll be a mixed blessing, what with some of the nifty people who're in the present senior class). But history class has a tendency to get me rowed up, when the (also nifty) teacher mentions certain issues. What with it being a lecture, I have to just boil in silence with visions of me at the head of an army of liberals roaring in my imagination. And, if you happen to be conservative in issues like gay marriage: jolly good, but you'd best have some great arguments to back yourself up, ones that don't fall back on religion or marriage-for-reproduction...

I feel a bit guilty about not having included any photos or many textual tidbits recently, so I'll just vow to put together an album from my last Italia trip soon. And I'll also post the one from Washington D.C. last December; it has some nice pictures. Anyway, it's high time I put on some TMBG, so I'm off to do some hard core relaxing; y'all be happy, you hear?

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:36 PM | Comments (0)

April 17, 2005

Project Ductboots
life, thing

A few days ago I realized that the duct tape boot would be the apogee of pedal apparel, and since then I've been pondering how to create such a thing. I plan to use black duct tape for the body, and orange for the "cuff" at the top. In addition I'll attach a pair of soles which I suppose I'll try to order through a shoe repair shop, as recommended by this site which served to help plan out my process – it provides instructions on how to use duct tape to make a pattern for leather boots.

I plan to double over strips of duct tape to form the main of the boot, and then to add additional duct over the inside and outside seams between the strips. Hopefully this should provide adequate material, and if not I suppose I'll just add additional duct tape to the outside. I plan to build the boot around my foot, which I'll cover in a sock or two stuffed with some newspaper, to give it a less foot-like form and to give some wiggle room for my toes. The leg and the foot portions will each be constructed separately, and then joined together at the end. A bit of orange duct tape, cement, and a sole should finish off the boot, which will hopefully work well enough to be worn to school! Now then, to plan a ductboot supply trip to Ace's hardware...

Posted by Trevor Savage at 4:49 PM | Comments (0)

April 13, 2005

life, thing

Rain and fruit and companions and paintings
People and language and Venice and food
Glass and lace and countryside and photos
Nighttime and lights and delight and desert
Caves and churches and statues and things.
There are steps and steps and steps;
	then Happiness.

Thanks to a sad turn of events, in about 342 days, just a short two years after I last donned my Jacket Italiano, I'll be hopping onto a plane with a whole load of nifty people and heading straight for Roma. Assuming I get my name on the list in time. The things I enjoyed most about Italia 2004, which was my first trip to the country, were the adventure, the places, the language and the food.

The adventure came with every step I took, mile I flew, and revolution the bus's wheels made. We were in a different country. Every time I looked up, I didn't know what new and minutely different thing I'd see. Just as for a newborn babe the entire world is one big playground ready to be explored, Italia opened itself up as a jungle gym for the explorer, offering all sorts of delights for all the senses. In addition, navigating the cities and finding your way around to the shops, sights, and succulent sustenance was an adventure in it's own.

The locales of Italy were delightful grounds for adventure. Merely walking in Florence or San Gimignano or Venice or Rome was a delight; and seeing how the city changed when it rained or when night fell was amazing. One of my fondest memories of Italia is walking back to my hotel in Florence from the museum while it poured down rain and I wore my Jacket Italiano. Later I discovered nighttime Florence's awe inspiring nature, as the lights shine out of the bridges and are reflected on the water, as the rumble of the river is heard, and as you snake your way through streets and past squares which just a few hours before were bustling with activity and which now are only marked by the pools of light leaking out of restaurants.

Another vivid memory from Italia is of sitting by the fountain in front of the Spanish steps in Roma, drinking from it and watching the pigeons and the people as they streamed through or as they scurried about their jobs, pausing only to refill a water bottle from the statue's mouth.

Likewise, Venice was a water-filled sanctuary of happiness. Traversing the streets, making your way to and through the lines and lines of shops which resided on either side of the bridges and streets, walking through a walkway which you later ride under in a gondola, searching out a bathroom while following innumerable signs, and finally working your way back to Plaza San Marco while accidentally taking odd side streets which end in water, the cities of Italia themselves were all delightful places of adventure and happiness. Such grand structures as the Duomo and the Tower of Pizza also provided great adventure for those who choose to climb them.

The language also added to Italia's appeal. Confronted at every turn by a strange, foreign tongue which you only know a handful of words from, it's quite a delight for the linguaphile to try to use this strange thing to his advantage, picking up words from seeing them and reading them, and trying to figure out what they mean and how they're used. When, a few days into the trip, I ordered an acqua con gas and some pizza without stepping into English once, I was quite happy to come skipping out of the pizzeria with my loot, ready to tackle all of Italia.

Finally, the food topped the rest of the trip off. Gelato, not too rich, not too cold, not too flavorful, and never too much, soothed the mind and spread happiness about while one shopped and explored. Pizza, acqua con gas, delightful fruit and goodies from the supermarket, strange but delightful puddings, delicious bread, candies, and more all helped top off one's happiness meter, especially after a full day of climbing stairs and walking roads. The food, like much of the rest of Italia, also provided an adventure, thanks to it's variety and differences from American cuisine.

Overall, adventure reigned supreme in Italia, whether manifested in the food, the places or the language. And so I eagerly away spring break 2006, when not only will I get to further explore Italia, but when I will also get to sample the fruits of la Franηe and la Suisse, expanding my life's vocabulary and discovering more at every turn. 342 days remain, but already excitement reigns.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:41 PM | Comments (0)

April 11, 2005

On MGA, or The Dead Fish Essay
life, thing

Two weekends past, during spring break, a sizable chunk of my high school headed over to Richmond to participate in the Model General Assembly, which puts the roles of various parts of our government on the heads of students and lets them work in the position, mostly creating, debating, and passing laws.

To be more accurate, I myself went to MGEC, the Model General Executive Committee, or something along those lines. I always mix up the letters. The topic was transportation, and although I had no blooming clue what the heck I was supposed to do, and was rather worried about this during the few days leading up to it, it didn't turn out too badly.

MGEC consisted in part of a number of speakers who spoke on transportation, reviewing how exactly things relating to roads, railways, ports, and airports get done in this here state, as well as how these services get funded. These speakers were mildly interesting, especially considering that transportation isn't exactly a striking issue itself. The other part of MGEC was when we split up into groups and, with all of our newfound knowledge, tried to come to a consensus as to how exactly we could solve our transportation issues – primarily, how to fix the great funding hole that is widening with every year.

MGEC actually reminded me of CTY, except with the topic of the governing of transportation replacing that of the philosophy of the mind. I must say, I like debating and learning about philosophy much better, although I expect MGA proper will be much more intriguing than MGEC was. In addition, CTY offered a much longer period of time to get to know your fellow participants; at MGEC, we only had a handful of hours in which we worked together over the course of two days.

In addition to MGEC itself, there were the elections for next year's officials, a tea-toting banquet, and a rather fun ball. The elections were interesting, with speeches ranging from meager attempts which fell on their face to humorous entries of various qualities to full blown guitar-backed songs. One of the adults affiliated with the event later complained that the speeches relied too much on audience appeal, rather than expressing the qualities of the actual candidate. While I agree with this sentiment, I think that it's rather infeasible in the MGA environment.

The few offices and leadership positions which candidates can cite as past experience don't prove much; the voters have no idea how well the candidate did in these positions, whether they were a dead fish who merely enjoyed the title, a good worker who fulfilled the duties, or an exceptional officer who used his power for the greater good.

Rambling on about the qualities that you think will help you fulfill the office you're running for doesn't help much either; even if you're doing more than trying to sound professional, we have little way of knowing if you actually have these qualities. Only a few of the pieces of supporting evidence which the candidates provided actually motivated me to feel that they may indeed have good leadership abilities. Studiously maintaining a job or doing great in school doesn't necessarily mean you have great people skills, and I'm not inclined to take just the word of a candidate who I've only just been introduced to as proof of their claimed skills.

So, while I sympathize which the plea for more seriousness in the candidates' appeals to the voters, before we scour the humor away I think we need to make sure the material beneath it is strong enough to hold the weight of the candidates by itself; if not, we may end up with a bucket full of dead fish to feast on in place of real speeches.

But, on the whole, MGA was an entertaining diversion and an interesting opportunity to learn about things I wouldn't normally even think about. I eagerly await next year when I'll get to participate again, and I hope that my legislative fellows in the House and the Senate then will be more lively and participatory than rumor has it they were this year. Otherwise I may be forced to slap them around a bit with a large trout...

Posted by Trevor Savage at 11:10 PM | Comments (0)

April 9, 2005

The Extremes

I've started to notice that there're a few extreme moods which I tend to frequently have.

Expressiveness is often brought on by listening to music and thinking about dancing. Whenever a movie mentions dancing, this emotion is sure to follow. Expressiveness demands more music, and makes me long to dance. It also makes me want to express myself in general, by find really cool clothing to wear, expressing my beliefs (primarily that I'm happy and that everyone should be happy), and by delighting in friends. Expressiveness also tends to mean that I'm "living in the moment". The best and happiest extreme.

A close second in intensity to Expressiveness, ranting comes about when I get roared up on an issue such as abortion, gay marriage, or so called sex-ed. Anger rages towards the conservatives who are on the other side of the line in these issues which are so clear and obvious to me (as I'm sure they are to those on the other side as well), and, being unable to do much about it, I find someone to rant to lest I explode.

Bleakness comes up rather randomly, but it's a general feeling of unhappiness. Bleakness demands that I be creative and generally productive, programming and writing and playing my ukulele. It doesn't mind reading, but doesn't look too favorably upon it. Thankfully, after writing a bit of code or a blog entry, bleakness is replaced by pride.

Pride comes on after I've successfully completed some piece of work, generally a piece of programming or writing. It entails happiness, although less than an Expressive mood, and is accompanied by relaxation, maybe some food, and some appreciation of my work.

Longing occurs when I start to feel like playing a big 3D MMORPG, or when I long for any other game or piece of software which I don't have access to. Occasionally longing's desire is for something more physical, such as a dance. Longing results in a typically fruitless search for what I desire, and ends when I either find it or distract myself with something else.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:48 PM | Comments (0)

March 25, 2005

The Banjo Ukulele
life, thing

Being, like most people, an admirer of music, I've been interested for some time in learning how to create such emotion-plucking bits of sound. I haven't been able to find a good place to start though. As one of the musically uninitiated it was difficult to get very far on the internet searching for basic information, and the myriad quantity of instruments available can make it difficult for a novice to start off without guidance.

During the summer I experimented a wee bit with tracking, attracted to it since, like computer programming, it didn't require any expensive instrument to be purchased beyond the computer which I already possessed, but I didn't catch on. The lack of information for the musical beginner and the need to begin with composition, not with mere playing as one would with a normal instrument contributed to this I believe.

Compared to the volumes of information available on programming, I thought the musical literature online to be very sparse. However, I think this was primarily due to musical information being less well indexed and relatively less in quantity than computer information, making it more difficult to find and making each page more valuable.

So, a few weeks ago, I started thinking about instruments. Guitars seem to be quite common these days, and I desired to play something more unique – although if you enjoy the guitar, kudos. I also wanted the instrument I learned to be portable, so that I wouldn't have to be tethered to my house, which ruled out keyboard instruments, at least at the start.

The next instrument I pondered was the lyre. Classical, compact, simple, and used to accompany poetry, it seemed quite nifty. However, after plenty of Googling and scouring of Amazon and Ebay, I finally realized that, seeing as how practically none are available for sale, I'd been on a wild goose chase. The lyre'd still be an interesting instrument to build at home though.

At this point, I finally stumbled upon some musical resources. The music category of dmoz.org, musicmoz.org, and the music category of WannaLearn.com each presented their own helping of very useful links.

Continuing my quest for the perfect instrument, I looked into the ukulele. With it I came to the first helpful site I'd yet come across; it quickly and easily tells you the facts, including how much you can expect to pay for a ukulele. The ukulele shared the Lyre's characteristics of being small and simple, although at first all I could think of when I heard it was stereotypical tropical beaches – now I don't mind it's voice.

The banjo ukulele sounded better at the time, while also possessing the ukulele's relatively cheap price, small size, and simpleness. There's also a delightful tutorial about it for those who "have never played any kind of instrument before except the kazoo". Plus, since it has the same tuning as the ukulele, It can play the same songs, and most resources for the ukulele are applicable to the Banjo Uke.

The only delima remaining was how to obtain one on that was cheap on my scale. Unlike regular ukuleles, which can start as low as $40 for a decent instrument, Banjo Ukes tend to start around $150, and starting with an expensive instrument would make me feel like I had to practice due to the money, not due to wanting to, which would likely put me off.

At this point my Mom remembered that my grandmother had some sort of instrument lurking in her attic. She was uncertain as to what sort of instrument it was, but thought it might be a banjo or a ukulele. The next day we ventured up into the attic and, lo, there it was; a 75 year old banjo ukulele in practically perfect condition but for some superficial rust and a few missing parts. Some strings, a bridge, and a tailpiece were soon ordered from Ukulele World and at the end of a week filled with eager waiting I had in my hands a delightful little instrument. The vellum has even survived delightfully intact, although I had purchased a new one in case.

A few weeks later, I'm alternately amazed by what I can do, happily strumming and picking out songs, and depressed by what I don't know, drifting lost in a sea of unconsumed knowledge. I've discovered numerous useful ukulele resources, and quite a few fun and easy songs. I'm also beginning to battle the first symptoms of Ukulele Acquisition Syndrome. Cheap non-banjo ukuleles are starting to look quite attractive; no sentimental value to hinder lugging them around, and not as loud for indoor practice.

Since I picked up my banjo ukulele, my focus has also changed. Originally, I wanted to be able to craft sound that would dance with the emotions, but, although that's still an attractive prospect, my main goal now is simply to play my instrument and to learn more and more about it.

So now you know how my musical journey was begun; hopefully you managed to brave the lengthy article, and hopefully it provided you with some happiness or insight. I'm sure you'll be hearing plenty about my banjo uke in later blogs. To anyone else who hasn't done anything musical in their life, I highly recommend finding an instrument you like and learning it to your heart's content; once you settle down to it, these little things can be awesome!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 11:28 PM | Comments (2)

March 16, 2005

The Shakespearian Shell: Fun on the Water and on Stage
life, log

	the healer of all wounds
	such glorious tunes
	they power the elevator to heaven
	within the mind act as a leaven
	it takes your hand in depression
	and lead you until it has lessened

I have a rather lengthy article brewing about musical instruments and the playing thereof, but that will have to wait for now. I need a good bit of time to cut it down to size, and time's rare right now. In the meantime, you might like to look at this picture and, if you're inclined to, drool.

Anyway, dress rehearsal is tomorrow for the Scottish Play , in which I'm playing Banquo, and we're... dancing along. Things are getting fun, although I think I like small plays much better; this one has about 35 cast members, and thus one doesn't get as much time on stage and the actual production doesn't seem as personal. In small productions all the rehearsals seem quite fun as one prances about in character, but in this play only a few rehearsals have thus far reached that level of delight. I also had to get over a slight dislike of Shakespeare – he's not exactly high comedy – but I'm alright now. In addition, it's quite delightful how you tend to remember other people's lines, even when you're not in their scene; they make excellent quoting material.

As highschool draws nearer to an end and only one more production is seen approaching on the radar, I've been thinking about acting and my future. Previously I'd thought I'd probably drop it after highschool, but with only one more opportunity for such fun currently planned, I think I'll definitely join up in some amateur productions in college and beyond; I can't conceive of going my whole life without any more acting.

In addition, this Saturday, right before our second performance of the play, we have a regatta. I'm coxing, and it's rather fun; I'm a bit hesitant at the moment about shouting out orders to correct our course, but I suppose I should just do so whenever I think it's necessary; I might not guide us on the most efficient path, but with time that'll be corrected.

With luck, I won't loose any vertebrae during the regatta; the shell we've been rowing in doesn't have any way to secure the coxswain's bottom, so you tend to jerk back and forth, which can be quite painful for your spine. Bracing yourself and sitting so your side, not your back, gets the whacking, seems to help a little.

Finally, on the topic of the poetry which accompanies this entry, the powers of music are quite amazing. I came home with only an hour and a half to rest and do my homework in, in something of an imperfect mood. But, after one or two listens to Dragoste din tei my mood had soared to levels of great happiness and optimism, within a period of mere minutes. I hardly know what I'd do without such tunes; they serve as hammers with which to forge your state of mind.

Away, and mock the time with glee! True face must show what the heart doth know!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:41 PM | Comments (0)

February 18, 2005

Whipped Butter and Bagels
life, log

fresh bagel smell on the air
the goodness is everywhere

Wombat! We have a three day weekend ahead of us, and boy is it delightfully packed! Saturday, the crew team is up bright and early to head to an erg pull, where each of us will attempt to yank a chain at break-neck speeds in order to trounce (or not) the rest of the crewing community. After that, a few of the crewbies and some noncrewbies will be heading back to school for the first "rehearsal" of the Scottish play, where we'll attempt to prevent certain members of the cast from decapitating anyone. I'm quite looking forward to the rehearsal, as it has, of course, been a year or so since the last play, and I can't wait to dance about under a borrowed face once more.

We also have sketchbook exercises in art! And they wouldn't seem to be very onerous; no paper-shading this week! Nope, this time we get to design and color 3 outfits. Ought to be interesting, although most of mine will probably end up being either fantastical or just really weird designs which I'd love to wear but which I'd have to make myself if I'm to have them. They'll probably mostly be male too. I'll likely stay away from female figures so that I might prevent myself from massacering either the anatomy or the outfits themselves, although some nifty colorful billowing clothes might work well enough on a female frame.

Speaking of art, I'm becoming rather amorous of watercolor. Although I'm loath to try anything complex yet, like a duck *cough.* or a marsh, at least with any high expectations, it seems rather fun, and the patterns the paint sometimes makes in the water can be quite delightful. The water can also be a curse though, as if you put it on an already-dry surface of paint, it can splotch, forming a downright ugly and as far as I know unfixable water-mark.

We're currently doing the previously mentioned clay tiles, though, which work well enough, although I'm a bit wary of the kiln's destructive powers, and my clay didn't want to get properly wet today– it was either too dry or too wet all period. The sword handle is also frustrating me, as the period before last I crafted a nice little sword, but I spent all of this period to little avail. I almost had it once, but the scale wasn't right. I'll have to do a computer version of my personal crest/coat of arms/etc thing and post it soon.

I noticed today that the acronyms for the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival (MSWF) and Macworld San Francisco (MWSF) are remarkably similar. Knitting and Apples seem to be more closely related than the first glance might indicate! Maybe the two events should merge; never mind the fact that they're located on opposite shores, surely some dimensional magic can solve that problem.

Finally, I just opened up and toasted the first of a package of Thomas's blueberry bagels, and boy did they smell good. Pure happiness they didst contain the pheromones of. They didn't taste quite as good as they smelled, and I had a time with the whipped butter (golly is that stuff messy), but they served their purpose. May your weekend prove delightful and filled with the smells of happiness!

[Yes, this was posted on the 19th &ndash you haven't gone insane – but only because I hadn't finished reading over it the day before. Oops.]

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:48 PM | Comments (0)

February 16, 2005

life, thing

happiness that can not be deflated
	happiness that can not be improved
the happiness floats, unwaning, above the discordant seas
	a steady star amidst the dusky night
written after the homecoming dance, october 16 2004

Dancing. Oh, hail, most glorious of activities. There's quite possibly nothing better than when you're in the midst of friends, music's pounding through your veins, and, more than merely moving your limbs in sync to the sound, the music having entered your ears commands your limbs to move. In addition to music, sugar and caffeine seem to play large parts in this process – prior to such being ingested, my movements tend to be much more reserved, generally restricting themselves to my arms. The only other person I've seen describe dancing in this way – that is, as simply moving to the music – is one Eddy.

I got into dancing this summer at CTY when, after skipping the first dance in favor of Risk, I hoped into the second with a group of friends. By the end of the night, thanks to the great dancing of Nijimaru, a hallmate, I was hooked. The next dance I miss will be the one which takes place the day after my funeral. The dances at Franklin and Marshall (where the camp was held) were quite nifty; conducted outdoors, there was always plenty of air, and, with a quick twirl into a nearby dorm, you could easily obtain water. It was pretty easy to keep dancing pretty much continuously, resting mostly in between songs. And the music played was quite the delight – I think noting that homestarrunner was played should make that clear enough.

At our school, however, we only have around 3 dances per year. As you might imagine, this isn't very conductive to either dancing practice or enjoyment. In addition, they are typically held inside a stuffy gym, and sometimes the serving of water is neglected, which can make dancing quite difficult. Regardless, I've quite enjoyed the dances we've had here, having made copious use of the ice which is typically available. Dancing for 4 hours on end, even if a lack of air keeps nirvana at bay, is exceedingly enjoyable. I'll skirt the topic of the musical choice of the DJs and/or the organizers, except to say that I don't think I've heard a single song I own – or, for that matter, that my parents own – played at a school dance. I don't mind bad music at dances too much though – with enough sugar, I'll dance to anything.

In addition, where I live the only dance classes which are available are those of ballet – which, I believe, is a choreographed style of dance, while I'm interesting in more creative ones. No ballroom (or, for that matter, breakdancing) classes for me. The quantity of people who really dance here seems to be quite small as well; most either stay far away from the floor or don't fully get into it, merely moving repetitively, although at least these people try.

As it's been 3 or so months since the last dance (woe is me!), this account unfortunately isn't as detailed as it could be, so I'll probably revisit the topic afore too long. But, despite living in a dancing wasteland, this activity constantly floats to the top of my list of hobbies, not to mention to the top of my mind itself, and I await with baited breath the next dance I'll be able to participate in.

On a slightly different note, I was looking tonight for a symbol to represent dancing. There doesn't seem to be a very obvious one, so I've been looking for gods of dance. The two main ones I found were Shiva and Terpsichore. Terpsichore is more of an actual goddess of dance, and is also a part of Greek mythology, so she appeals to me more. Unfortunately, the only symbol she yields is that of the Lyre, which isn't too bad, but is a bit difficult to integrate into a crest. We're doing clay tiles in art and I decided to make mine into a display of my crest – I have a rather nifty design incorporating a pumpkin (happiness), a knitting needle (creativity), a sword (justice), and a closet (me), and also wanted to depict dancing in it, perhaps representing selfexpression.

Dance on; who cares if you look silly, what matters is that you're expressing and enjoying yourself. If nothing else, I guarantee you you'll earn my undying admiration. And don't say you don't know how. Just start moving any old limb to the music, and the rest will follow in time.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:54 PM | Comments (1)

January 28, 2005

Hot Chocolate
life, thing

"Perfectly Chocolate" Hot Cocoa
1 Cup Milk, heated
2-3 tsp. Cocoa Powder
2 tbsp. Sugar
1/4 tsp. Vanilla Extract
Dash Salt

What with school being canceled repeatedly for delightful dustings of snow, creating our own mini-winter-break, it's the perfect weather for hot chocolate. Once more, however, we come to a dilemma. What kind of hot chocolate? Most brands have a basketful of flavors – Swiss Miss's run the gamut from "Rich Chocolate" to "Chocolate Sensation". And then there's always the option of mixing it straight from the cocoa powder.

Taste-wise, I think from-cocoa rules supreme. Swiss Miss's varieties seem to have little more than an iota of difference between them, and their actual chocolatey taste is significantly less powerful than that of Hershey Cocoa's "Perfectly Chocolate" Hot Cocoa, even though their website claims that their hot chocolate mixes have "that real chocolate taste and flavor". From-cocoa is very hearty, and, moreover, can be customized precisely to one's tastebuds. Creamier? Just switch milks! More chocolatey (goodness! it's quite chocolatey already!)? Scoop more of that brown powder in there!

On the other hand, prepackaged does have that patent hot chocolate taste that you've always known, with the same balance every time, in addition to it's unique smell.

Milk does seem to take a good while longer to heat up than water – the 45 seconds recommended by the Dairy Farmers of Manitoba only creates lukewarm milk, not particularly suitable for hot chocolate. In addition, the home-mixed concoction is best served with a spoon; over time, the ingredients seem to settle a little bit, an ailment largely avoided by the premixed solutions.

So, how does do-it-yourself stack up against pre-mixed varieties pricewise? Canisters of cocoa seem like they can go forever, and there must be an infinite quantity of "pinches" in a cylinder of salt, while pre-mixed only comes with around 9 packets of hot chocolate per box! At Food Lion, Chocolate Sensations and Rich Chocolate Swiss Miss are $.16 and $.13 per packet, respectively. (clearly we're being charged extra for the added Sensation)

As far as home-mixed goes, cocoa powder is $.04 per 3 tsp, imitation vanilla extract is $.01 per 1/4 tsp, Food Lion sugar is $.02 per 2 tbsps, and salt is less than $.01 per 1/8th of a teaspoon (there are 1248 "pinches" of this size in a 26oz. container). Moving on, however, milk is an entire $.23 per cup! The unbovinic components total to only $.08. but with milk included the homebrew costs a total of $.31. Well, alright you might say – the prepackaged uses dried milk anyway. But dried milk costs $.37 per liquified cup! How do they get the milk for so cheap?

In summation, pre-mixed packets of Hot Chocolate offer a modicum more convenience than rolling your own, although with a spiffy set of measuring spoons you can plow right through a cup of home-mixed cocoa in no time, and the result is generally better, not to mention more hackable. Plus, the ingredients are easy to find in the average home's kitchen. However, despite the apparent cheap nature of the chocolatey home-brewed drink which had appealed to my frugalness, it seems that in reality powdered mixes win out by far in the economic war. Curse the costly bovines! (and curse the thesaurus; it neglects to display an entry for cow!)

Thus, in lack of any definitive answer having emerged from this research, I think I'll keep on as I've been doing: varying my hot chocolate intake, randomly switching from prepackaged to cocoa-based depending on how lazy I feel at any one moment.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:48 PM | Comments (0)

January 22, 2005

Poetry; it's fun!
life, thing

when feelings are intense
words come marching hence
arrayed in official attire
armed and ready to fire
standing in formation
they keep their muskets stationed
prepared to volley
at all who, in their folly, venture by

Back in October or so, I started becoming pushed to verse occasionally when struck by great emotion. Even at the time, though, I remained rather miffed as to why one would want to write a poem about some blasted flower or cloud. At some point I realized that poetry, besides being an alternative to prose, seems largely about capturing one's feelings and emotions at any given time.

Recently, I've stated taking it up in times of boredom, coming up with the words which would best fit. Nevertheless, the lines which simply jump into one's head while one ponders poetry seem to be the best in wording and the most accurate to one's feelings. Even when one simply desires to write a poem, the most effective topics seem to be those which one actually feels, as opposed to some random topic which you decide to put to verse. It's quite delightful to come up with these little bits of wordage which so succinctly express exactly what drives one to do what one does.

I think this enjoyment of the writing of poetry reflects one of the main things which I like about writing in general; expressing oneself. It's quite fulfilling to write and present to the world something which reflects one's conclusions and thoughts about life, with the hope that it will change the world for the better through those who read it – either when someone finds out about a nifty website or activity which they go on to enjoy greatly, or when someone realizes that their way of thought may have been flawed, and that maybe we should just all get along and be happy.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:22 PM | Comments (0)

January 19, 2005

life, log

SNOW! C'est beau! A physical manifestation of the yummlicious cold air, coating everything in a beautiful white icing and making me want to dance about in it whilst in good company! Alas, to home we went, to study for exams. No snow-dancing for us. We did sit outside during lunch, though, while the snow started it's descent, so not all is lost. The snow called out to me to photograph it, and I caved in when I got home and hopped around for a while; click the photo above to view some of the resulting pictures. It may seem that I'm getting a bit excited about a teeny bit of snow, but what can I say- I like precipitation.

And, speaking of snow, I hail all towtrucks! Saw three or so accidents on the way home, two of which had towtrucks working about. Although I have no idea where they come from, seeing as how this seems like a towtruck devoid rural area, thanks be to them and their drivers!

Exams and snow, snow and exams; others often express heated preferences as to when the school-halting snow comes, some preferring that it come during exams that they might have more time to study and others desiring that it come about afterwards, so that they won't have to worry about exams. As for me, as delightful as hoping is, I don't particularly care when it comes, as it'll come whenever it will and whenever it comes I'll be happy. Either way, though, when the snow gods take their tally for and against powdery precipitation, I certainly shout "Aie"!

Posted by Trevor Savage at 12:38 PM | Comments (0)

January 14, 2005

On Shampoo Selection
life, thing

cleansing goo
so good for you
green like grapes
creeps like cream
despite the sheen
it lathers and cleans

At first glance, tackling the giant shampoo aisles typically found in stores would seem a difficult task. What qualities are too be desired in shampoo, after all? How can they be metered? The amount of dirt gleaned from the bottom of a washtub and the overall look of the hair post-washing?

After a brief break from my randomly-selected official shampoo brand, however, I can attest that White Rain's cleansing goo seems superior. First off, it's consistency is easily the most attractive of the three hair improvement solutions which I had the pleasure to sample this last week. As is easily observable upon accidentally pouring out a handful from the "Family Sized" bottle, it almost has the feel of Jello, although, of course, it isn't as firm. This is a rather delightful feeling to sample with one's finger, although if your shampoo happens to be green and smell like apples, you might be tempted to sample it with your tasting apparatus as well. The bottle, however, warns that the product is for external use only.

White Rain's hair washing ability also stands above the crowd, leaving one's hair a fluid mass, easy to scrub about as one removes the massive quantities of foam from one's hair, unlike both Rave brand shampoo and the oh-so-formal yet handy in a tight spot bar 'o soap.

Next up in the spotlights we have Coast brand bar soap, perfect for those instances when you realize that you're all out of shampoo and that you forgot to do anything about getting some for the last 3 days. In the appearance field, it follows close behind the White Rain, being a delightful combination of white and blue, followed close behind by a delicious smell, best sampled by placing the bar in quite close proximity to one's nez – as they say on their website, "One whiff can revive anyone.". The scent is easily missed if you don't smell carefully, however – It took me about 10 years of use to notice it. They don't seem to warn against internal use.

Unlike White Rain, Coast doesn't hold up in the hair-treatment category. If you're not careful, it's easy to get odd lumps of soap in your hair, and the washing provided is clearly subpar, leaving, after a few days, a rather greasy feeling, although it's not immediately apparent. After washing, hair also has a tendency to want to cling to itself, making it difficult to move about.

Rave brand shampoo pulls in last in our contest, with it's unimpressive green bottle design and clearly soap-like appearance. Yellowish in color, much like antibacterial soap, it warns predators from afar of it's innutritious nature. It's scent is also rather clearly soapish, lending no fantasies that the product just might be edible.

In the cleansing competition, Rave only beats Coast by a modicum, finding within it's bottle some cleansing prowess. Like Coast, however, after washing your hair it has a tendency to cling together.

Despite having apparently pulled their plane jane model from the shelves, I am now once more a thoroughly random follower of White Rain, and I hereby hail it's charismatic washing ability.At first glance, tackling the giant shampoo aisles typically found in stores would seem a difficult task. What qualities are too be desired in shampoo, after all? How can they be metered? The amount of dirt gleaned from the bottom of a washtub and the overall look of the hair post-washing?

After a brief break from my randomly-selected official shampoo brand, however, I can attest that White Rain's cleansing goo seems superior. First off, it's consistency is easily the most attractive of the three hair improvement solutions which I had the pleasure to sample this last week. As is easily observable upon accidentally pouring out a handful from the "Family Sized" bottle, it almost has the feel of Jello, although, of course, it isn't as firm. This is a rather delightful feeling to sample with one's finger, although if your shampoo happens to be green and smell like apples, you might be tempted to sample it with your tasting apparatus as well. The bottle, however, warns that the product is for external use only.

White Rain's hair washing ability also stands above the crowd, leaving one's hair a fluid mass, easy to scrub about as one removes the massive quantities of foam from one's hair, unlike both Rave brand shampoo and the oh-so-formal yet handy in a tight spot bar 'o soap.

Next up in the spotlights we have Coast brand bar soap, perfect for those instances when you realize that you're all out of shampoo and that you forgot to do anything about getting some for the last 3 days. In the appearance field, it follows close behind the White Rain, being a delightful combination of white and blue, followed close behind by a delicious smell, best sampled by placing the bar in quite close proximity to one's nez – as they say on their website, "One whiff can revive anyone.". The scent is easily missed if you don't smell carefully, however – It took me about 10 years of use to notice it. They don't seem to warn against internal use.

Unlike White Rain, Coast doesn't hold up in the hair-treatment category. If you're not careful, it's easy to get odd lumps of soap in your hair, and the washing provided is clearly subpar, leaving, after a few days, a rather greasy feeling, although it's not immediately apparent. After washing, hair also has a tendency to want to cling to itself, making it difficult to move about.

Rave brand shampoo pulls in last in our contest, with it's unimpressive green bottle design and clearly soap-like appearance. Yellowish in color, much like antibacterial soap, it warns predators from afar of it's innutritious nature. It's scent is also rather clearly soapish, lending no fantasies that the product just might be edible.

In the cleansing competition, Rave only beats Coast by a modicum, finding within it's bottle some cleansing prowess. Like Coast, however, after washing your hair it has a tendency to cling together.

Despite having apparently pulled their plane jane model from the shelves, I am now once more a thoroughly random follower of White Rain, and I hereby hail it's charismatic washing ability.

Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:34 PM | Comments (0)