July 29, 2007
A Musing on the Mind and the Body
'philosophy', poetry
there is a fault line in my mind
that calls out the separation of my parts.
what was once mine, I no longer own;
what I once controlled now controls me.
I am the being that calls life its domain;
my identity I even now hold secure.
yet the body in which I reside
had taken the controls.
it finds no meaning in anything,
yet it seeks for meaning everywhere.
ineptly it blunders with its eyes and hands:
blindness is its domain.
it has tools perfectly fitted
for rendering beauty.
its form could stand for so much,
its heart's outpouring could fill a thousand oceans.
yet without me it is a senseless brute.
and without it, I can not see the world,
I can not sense a drop of life;
I am completely lost.
life surges forth; I come to the fore.
at the helm I sail us upon this sea.
and so the fault line shivers to a close.
and so two beings become as one.
Posted by Trevor Savage at 4:47 PM | Comments (0)
June 19, 2007
Memories Bursting in Air
'philosophy', poetry
in the fountain of my mind
memories flow, sink and fly.
like the sun at dusk and dawn;
so they come and then are gone.
some linger in the fountain's depths,
lending their wisdom to its steps.
others fade into the sunny sky,
first to shine and then to die.
once I cared not what I lost;
I though myself better off.
but now each shining burst trails tears,
as with the dusk so part moments dear.
Posted by Trevor Savage at 9:17 PM | Comments (0)
October 14, 2006
The Future and the Past
'philosophy', life
So I'm home from college for the weekend, trying to think of something relatively productive to do before I crash in bed for the night... And I realize I have the inspiration for a blog entry. For the first time in weeks, if not months. I finally have a large block of time during which my thoughts are free to roam the world over.
The first thought which wakes up my mind is a longing for my dorm room; sure, it's nice to be “home” and everything, but I miss having my computer right next to my bed right next to my bathroom right next to my kitchen right next to my study area right next to a boatload of my lovely friends. There's a certain economy that this arrangement requires which in turn makes it easier to focus on economizing your time in this world, as opposed to the environment which the heavily memory-laden “home” forces on you.
It's not that these memories are sad. They're happy memories, memories of opening boxes of Legos for Christmas and playing with them with my Dad, memories of long, wonderful summer nights spent doing nothing but coding, gaming, and living in the world of the Internet, memories of getting home late after a night of socialization at a friend's house... And yet, each of these memories evokes a deep sadness.
All these memories are decidedly from the past; more so than the memories I have of hanging out with people at William and Mary just last week, these memories' time has come and gone. Especially those which are further in the past. Never again will I get to open Legos with my parents, never again will I spend late nights in a world where nothing at all matters except the next line of code, the next instant message, and the next level in Diablo II. And, while I wouldn't really want to return to any of these worlds, at least not for too long, I mourn the fact that they are utterly lost to me.
My dorm room shows me the possibilities of the now and of the future; the people I can walk out my door and make friends with, the careers I can prepare for and jump into. But my house, my house reminds me of the past and the possibilities which are now closed off to me. And I know that if I forget these things, I will lose a large part of myself. Yet they are so difficult to hold on to; they reside only in memory, and with each day they grow fainter. But I must never forget what has passed, and most of all, I must never forget how wonderful the people with whom I share these memories really are, despite any flaws they may harbor.
Posted by Trevor Savage at 12:35 AM | Comments (1)
April 24, 2005
Selfreflection: Summer and School
'philosophy', life
In which Trevor ruminates in a potentially boring fashion on the present and the past which lead up to it.
I'm starting to look forward to prom, which is next weekend, primarily because it's a great social opportunity for some reason I'm feeling a bit starved in that regard. I'm feeling a wee bit stifled by responsibilities, and just want an opportunity to be quintessentially Trevor for a while; which now, rather surprisingly, involves being with real life friends. In this pursuit, most responsibilities become both a blessing and a curse; although school and crew mean being with friends occasionally, they also mean doing work, more so at school than at crew.
Last year this time, computers were just about my only hobby. Since then many things have changed. I've finally become social and I've picked up a horseload of hobbies, so many that I have trouble juggling them all at times. Many of these changes can be tracked back to the summer preceding the school year, and enacted themselves throughout the first half of the year.
The first substantial event of the summer was Port Isobel (just found that awesome picture while googling; that's the building we stayed in); it instilled me with a love of oars which carried me full blast onto the crew team, which in turn helped miles with my sociableness.
Next to take to the plate was JHU CTY on Franklin & Marshall College's excellent campus. The course, Philosophy of the Mind, was great and infinitely mind bending, and, although after the first day I was a bit beaten back by the scores of people who already knew each other, I eventually settled in with a nice group of people and began to, perhaps, become a bit more social. At CTY I also was introduced to dancing (without which I probably wouldn't have been driven to poetry), as well as They Might Be Giants.
Finally, over the summer I generally became more defined, thanks to the internet. A forum post prompted me to think about and define my philosophy, and further thinking lead me to change my mindset about being social. Last year, my goals on this front were meager; I hoped to make people laugh occasionally, and other than that I didn't care what anyone at all thought of me. The height of my happiness in this realm came only occasionally when jokes were flying in the classroom or, much more delightfully, during field trips.
The rest of this last year's changes can be more or less directly attributed to crew. The crewbie scarf knitathon, the results of which were sold to raise funds for crew, got me into the field of knitting without which I wouldn't have started reading the blogs which made me decide to get create this website, which lead me to discover that I do fairly love writing. The proliferation of crewbies with instruments, as well as my own desire for music, drove me to the banjo ukulele. And, last but not least by far, crew lead me to meet the niftiest people in the entire school, people with whom I finally had something to talk about.
In sum, I'm delighted at all the changes that've occurred in the last year, although after tallying them all up I do find them responsible for my current blessed plight: if not for these changes, I wouldn't be longing for the socialization & sociability which have been compressed by responsibility. But it's pointless to complain; I'm off to work on both the responsibility and the sociability, that they might both be improved!
Posted by Trevor Savage at 8:50 PM | Comments (0)
April 19, 2005
Savage Says Happiness
'philosophy', poetry
Savage says "Happiness
is the ruler of mens' minds,
the golden fruit which all
hope to pick,
either to grant as a gift
or to consume themselves."
"But," asked the wombat,
"does not the man who
seeks pain forsake
happiness?"
"No," said Savage,
"for no man seeks pain
as it's own reward,
unless it be a happy
sort of pain."
——
At this point the otter cried,
"But ho! If happiness is man's desire
why does he perspire
to render justice unto liars?"
And Savage did reply,
"For justice does please the mind,
and it's presence does find
the innocent pleased in kind."
——
"But also, he who is just
must to all happily entrust
his thoughts without any fuss."
"But why, then," asked the pumpkin,
"do some sit without compunction
and think to themselves without any function?"
"Why," said Savage,
"Those boil inside and refuse to eat
of the golden fruit which is such a treat."
[Notes: Savage is, in fact, my last name. I wrote this for an English class assignment, but I quite like it, and had fun writing it. It's modeled after Ezra Pound's Canto 13.]
Posted by Trevor Savage at 10:51 PM | Comments (0)