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June 2, 2005
Emotion without Substance
life, poetry
[NULL]
a mind, knowing so much more than had before brushed it's door,
still longs for lore.
the mysteries of the world, distilled into but one word,
leave understanding furled.
the longing mind aches to unroll the exotic scroll, but it's clumsy claws
can not reach the goal.
feelings sought for as if lost,
longed for but never crossed.
for if they are found, they are not known,
and their identity lurks in the regions unshown.
but the mind does know that regardless of the world about,
and all that which it does desire to find out,
the top of the world has been scouted
and can be climbed again if it's location be doubted.
from the union of music and friends,
self-expression and happiness do themselves vend.
by the power of dance, all will mend,
and all will comprehend that which the mind wishes to pen.
[/NULL]
My feelings recently, as reflected by a preponderance of poetry, have been mostly about emotions, not about things or events. This seems to follow the direction of the last week or so away from interactions and gatherings. Without crew, and with school drawing to a close, things are slowing down and my interaction is limited. My mind, recently awoken to interaction in the first place, cries out, and it is for this reason that I greet the beginning of summer with mixed feelings.
It's nice, I suppose, to not have to worry about the studies any more, however I quite worry about how often I'll see the beloved crewbies. Yumilicious gatherings will surely supplant the biweekly or so crew practices, but I worry as to how frequent these gatherings will actually be. And, in addition, I worry about having an opportunity to dance.
Dancing feels like the one way in which I can truly be Trevor, and express myself with wild abandon without caring about anything except the moment, the dancing, and friends. And yet, baring perhaps music-tinged gatherings, I know of no opportunity this summer at which I might dance. There's the possibility that someone on this seemingly dance forsaken peninsula will host a dance, but I don't like to bank my sanity on it, as I'm being forced to do. And even if such an event does come up, I might be hard pressed to find anyone to join me in venturing to such a locale where I'd be largely admist people who I don't know.
And so I deal with the present, studying for exams, and look to the future, hoping that my schedule will be filled with friendly happiness and euphoria which resonates with the music. I feel feeble to affect this future, and yet if I do not, it will surely not live up to my desires, so I must try to affect it as I can.
still longs for lore.
the mysteries of the world, distilled into but one word,
leave understanding furled.
the longing mind aches to unroll the exotic scroll, but it's clumsy claws
can not reach the goal.
feelings sought for as if lost,
longed for but never crossed.
for if they are found, they are not known,
and their identity lurks in the regions unshown.
but the mind does know that regardless of the world about,
and all that which it does desire to find out,
the top of the world has been scouted
and can be climbed again if it's location be doubted.
from the union of music and friends,
self-expression and happiness do themselves vend.
by the power of dance, all will mend,
and all will comprehend that which the mind wishes to pen.
Posted by Trevor Savage at June 2, 2005 9:58 PM